I Don't Understand Him...

I love Andrew and I don't mean to rag on him, but I just had to participate in this link-up. Simply because I'm sure I'm not alone in this.

There are things that Andrew says that I just do understand.

Such as...

"Where are my keys/cellphone/wallet?"

I hear this at least a few times a week. I don't get it. How do you lose these things? We have a key hook, you're always on your cellphone, your wallet is huge!

"Where is my credit/debit card?"

Similar to the previous question, but still asked. Again, I don't get it. Why isn't it in your wallet? Maybe it is in your wallet but since you can't find that, you don't know where your cards are. Usually though, it's not his wallet. It's in a pocket or something. Uh, what?

"What do you mean? The house is clean!" 

We have very different definitions of clean. Granted, for the most part, Andrew is pretty neat and tidy (except when he's busy). But, when I see the slightest bit of grim in the bathroom sink, I think it's time to clean it. He doesn't. He'll let it get all nice and grimy and still say it's clean. I mean, really grimy. So grimy, that you can't tell the sink/tub was once white. But, he doesn't notice it. Gross.

Tell me I'm not alone in this!

Crap Andrew Says

Andrew says some of the most random crap you could ever think of. The problem is, these things are always right in the moment and I usually forget them. Maybe it's for the best because my goal isn't to publicly embarrass him on the internet. But, for the sake of fun and games, today I'm sharing two of the craziest things Andrew has said (that I can remember). Yes, I really do love this guy with all my heart.

Elis and Andrew
This is probably a perfect depiction of how their faces would look if they read this.

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While in a grocery store with Elis and I...

Andrew: "Elis, you should buy some sliced cut meat."

*Elis and I exchange looks then proceed to laugh.*

Elis: "Some what?"

Andrew: "You know, sliced cut meat. So you can make sandwiches and bring them to work."

Me: "Andrew, I think you mean deli meat."

Andrew: "Yeah, sliced cut meat. Same sh*t."

(Asking Andrew if he wants some 'sliced cut meat' is a pretty common thing now.)

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I don't know how this came up, but one time Andrew told me that he thought "going number two" was "going number one twice."

You can't make this stuff up.

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Does your man say random crap?