Wednesday 15 January 2014

Not All of My Hair is Real

I have a confession to make (which is why I'm linking up with Kathy to make said confession).

Remember that selfie I posted on Instagram 7 weeks ago where I said I was loving the new cut and colour I just got?

Yeah, that one.

I have to confess: not all of the hair there is real. That's right. That day, I got extensions sewn in (I wore clip-in extensions a few times before that to "test the waters").

Why? Years ago, I dyed my natural hair blonde. That was a mistake. The bleach damaged my hair to an extent beyond saving. Along with all the blow drying and flat ironing I do, my hair just refused to grow any longer than a few inches past my shoulders. For me, this was frustrating. I had always dreamed of having long flowing hair past my chest. But, the only way for me to grow my hair and ever have a chance of it being that long naturally, was by cutting it.

So, I did. I cut a good three to four inches off my just-past-my-shoulders length hair. What followed was panic and insecurity. I'm convinced - thanks to a traumatic childhood memory of me with short hair - that with short hair, I look like a boy.

That's why I did the next best thing: I got extensions sewn in. The extensions masked the fact that my natural hair just touched my shoulders. On top of that, I got the long flowing lengthy hair I'd always dreamed of. 

Having extensions was an experience, to say the least.

I loved the way my hair looked but I couldn't help remind myself that my hair wasn't natural. After a while, I started to feel ashamed. I shouldn't have to have someone else's hair sewn into my own just to make me feel good about myself. There's nothing wrong with short hair! Heck, there's nothing wrong with having no hair either! I had let myself get brought down by social media's distorted portrayal of "beauty." I became so embarrassed about the extensions that I only told my close friends that I had them. When anyone else told me they noticed something different about my hair, I'd just tell them I got it coloured (which was partly true).

Granted, that selfie is probably my favourite selfie of me taken to date. The extra hair did give me a confidence boost - and a lesson - so it wasn't all bad. Would I do it again though? No. Would I clip in extensions from time to time (like for photo shoots)? Maybe. I'd wear extra makeup for a photo shoot but I wouldn't get permanent makeup done to my face. To me, it's almost the same idea.

Left: With extensions
Right: Natural
If you're thinking about getting extensions sewn in though, more power to you. At the end of the day, it's your decision. If it makes you happy, then go for it. If you have any questions about sewn-in extensions, ask me in the comment section! Next week, I'll post the answers. There were a few things I wish I had known before getting the extensions put in!

24 comments:

  1. Oh, I think your hair is beautiful either way! I've considered extensions many a time - mostly because I have very fine hair with little volume, but I've heard it's hella painful, so I don't think I ever will!

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  2. I say whatever makes you feel the best, then go for it! They can always be taken out. You look great either way.

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  3. i think your hair is gorgeous either way! and if you're happy with extensions, then so be it! do what makes YOU happy and who cares what everyone else thinks. if they make you feel good, then DO IT.

    kathy
    Vodka and Soda

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  4. You natural hair still looks long to me! And it's beautiful! I had mermaid, near small of back hair for almost my entire life. And then a few years ago (when a relationship was going down the drain in a horrible way- how cliche!) I cut it all off. All of it. It was ear length. I liked it for it's newness for about 2 days and then I hated it. The subsequent years have been spent trying to grow it all back. x

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  5. I used to dream of having long and STRAIGHT hair but with my naturally crazy curly hair, it would take me hours to blow dry and straighten it at the length I'd want it. I used to consider cutting it shoulder length and having it professionally straightened (keratin treatment) and then adding extensions... but then I realized that is so much work for just my hair! I still daydream about the keratin treatment from time to time but I've embraced my crazy hair and honestly? I love it. Great post and girl, you look GORGEOUS, which I already told you but I'm doing it again!

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  6. I don't think there is anything wrong with extensions, if they make you feel good about yourself! Your hair looks beautiful at it's natural length though!

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  7. Girl your hair is beautiful. Seriously. I love short hair and I think yours looks great. =) Just keep on rocking it.

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  8. I think you have beautiful hair regardless!

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  9. well good news is you don't look like a boy with your slightly shorter hair! so there's that ;)

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  10. i love your hair either way. it's what's you're most comfortable with of course :)

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  11. you look great either way! i've never tried extensions but you rock them and you totally can't tell you're wearing them!

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  12. Two years ago I totally chopped ALL of my hair off. As in, a boy short, hair cut and by me, I mean my hairdresser. I liked it for a bit and then instantly wanted my long locks back. I totally get why you were freaking when your hair wouldn't grow back. I think that you look beautiful in both pictures. And I'm not just saying that to toot your horn. I wouldn't lie and say that you looked beautiful if you didn't! But I totally understand why you would feel more confident with the longer hair. I get it. Plus, the colour looks really good in the first picture too..!

    My questions and this may be dumb... but do you wash it just the same? Or do you have to be careful with what shampoo you use...? (I'm assuming it's the same because it's real hair, isn't it!?)
    And... did it hurt when they sewed it in?

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    Replies
    1. You know what.. I have another question..lol!
      Because the hair extensions are straight and my hair is wavy, would it look really obvious if I didn't straighten my hair everyday?

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  13. I think your hair is so pretty! It's longer than I can get mine to grow!

    agirlandhersparkles.blogspot.com

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  14. I would have never known they were extensions! Both pics look great!! Do you find your hair is growing back at all now?

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  15. I feel like your natural hair is pretty long! And I think the fact that you got extensions is awesome! I would like to do that one day. I don't think I would be so hesitant to cut my hair short if I knew I could get extensions. They're really expensive though.. I think... the good ones at least. Would you be willing to answer a question about price?

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  16. Your hair looks so good natural! That's awesome that you were able to learn something from getting that done. Like you said, whatever makes you happy, do it! Don't let society distort your feelings toward yourself. That's something I struggled with for a long time.

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  17. The extensions looks great on you! My hair is down to my waist but I'd actually like extensions, too... just to beef up the volume a bit.

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  18. Wahh! I had no idea! I love it!! I am dying for my hair to grow out and have actually thought about extensions.

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  19. Wow your hair looks great.

    www.highheelsandtutus.com

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  20. Hair extensions rule! That's the closest you can get to molding your own self like pottery or a canvas, without the painful plastic surgery (heh). Besides, there's other things you can do with the hair you have. Other hair styles you might try and might take. It's all a matter of tenacity in vision, since these are all just aesthetics.

    Luz @ Hairworx

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  21. You're a beauty-- And love the hair! I've wanted to try extensions but I'm nervous to.. so I figure I'll just wait til it grows back again haha

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  22. I'm glad that the hair extensions gave you an extra confidence boost, despite the short time you've had them. I really think you look gorgeous with or without them. In any case, I hope you'll be comfortable wearing them again one day. Thanks for sharing that, Alex! Stay gorgeous! :)

    Delia Jensen @ Best Virgin Remy Hair

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I love comments. Thanks for making me smile!