Tuesday 17 December 2013

Stop Making Your Engagement Annoying

If you haven't seen it already, there's a picture that was posted on Reddit that is surfacing all over the internet of a girl's reaction to her three girlfriends getting engaged. For clarification, here's the photo:

Some say the girl in this photo could be annoyed at how much money she now has to spend. This could also be a possibility. This is my take on the photo.
The general reaction to this girl has been extremely positive. Many of the comments (including those found on sites re-posting the picture) state that she is "perfection," "the hottest one in the picture" and many commenters state they want to marry her/become her new BFF. And really, who can blame them? Heck, I want to be friends with her now too.

When you get engaged, it's an exciting moment. I know that when I get engaged, I'll be posting my ring on Instagram and blogging about it just like everyone else. You're entitled to that, right? It's a huge moment in your life and you're excited to share it with your friends and family. I get it. But, then there becomes a point where talking about your engagement is no longer fun and exciting for everyone else. It becomes narcissistic, annoying and you begin to look like a showoff.

This picture is the perfect example of that.

As my friend Mike stated, "'Everyone point and smile at these three chicks!' IS AN ANNOYING PHOTO."

It's true.

You're engaged and we're happy for you. But, you don't need to constantly remind everyone that you're engaged. We'll be reminded of that ourselves when we attend your engagement party, your bridal shower, when we receive the save-the-date, the invite and, most importantly, when we attend your wedding. Posting ridiculous photos on Instagram and Facebook of you posing with your ring isn't necessary (this is different than official engagement photos. Post those wherever you want. After all, you paid for them).

Just for the record ladies, the "Omg, I'm so happy and I want to share my happiness with everyone" picture is quite different than the, "Omg, I need everyone to see this diamond at many different angles" picture. One says genuine. The other says showoff. We can read right through them.

Posed pictures like these (particularly when taken months after the fact. Recent photos can sometimes have some merit) have made engagements less about "I really love this person and I'm excited to share my life with them" and more about "look at my shiny new ring." Wonderful stories like Helene's about engagement rings being passed down from family members are becoming rarer as couples compete to have bigger diamonds and thicker bands. I'm not saying that this is the case across the board but it definitely applies to more and more couples in our generation.

With this picture in mind, this is my appeal to stop making engagements a competition and celebrate what an engagement ring represents: a symbol of love and devotion.

Having a bigger ring does not equate to having a better marriage.

Linking up here.

25 comments:

  1. Yes!! I agree with all of this. Especially in the photo above it just looks like the girls are showing off 'the ring' where it's supposed to be about the couple. It also really irritates us singles, and not because we don't have that, but because it's obnoxious :)

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  2. Definitely true. I remember when we were engaged, several family members encouraged us to focus on the marriage, rather than the wedding. The wedding is but one day in a lifetime of days together. And while our wedding day was one of the best days of my life, there will be other amazing days in our marriage, I'm sure. :)

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  3. I mean, this picture is kind of awesome because of that girl. :)

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  4. I saw this too - definitely true!

    agirlandhersparkles.blogspot.com

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  5. I 100% agree with this post in every way. But I do think sometimes it's hard to toe the line between being irritating and just being excited. X

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  6. Most of my friends posted ONE shot of their ring on FB because obviously people ask to see it. Then they do nothing until the engagement photoshoot comes out and even then they arent the type to take engagement shots focused on the ring- the ones they shares are just cute ones of them together. Thank god for that!!!!

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  7. totally 100% agree! i love when friends get engaged and are over the moon excited, but I hate the i-must-show-off attitude that some girls get. if all you care about is the big diamond, you probably shouldn't be getting married.

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  8. I completely agree with you 110%! My best friend, while I love her to death, drives me nuts. She and her husband went engagement ring shopping together a couple of months before he proposed so she could show him exactly what he wanted. I don't want that! I want him to know me well enough to know what I would want, or to ask me "Hey, do you like this?" A guy friend said to me once, "Men get married to get married. Women get married to have a wedding." That resonated with me and I think it's so true! Thanks to Pinterest and Facebook and "friendly" competition we put way too much pressure on the details these days instead of just focusing on starting a family!

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  9. that girl just got out of being in 3 wedding parties=genius! I LOVE going to weddings! Getting dressed up, seeing my friends happy, eating a yummy dinner, dancing my ass off and taking lots of cake home. Everything else, PASS. Everyone needs to settle the f*ck down.

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  10. I would have been that girl - haha. What an obnoxious photo to take. Like you said, engagements are wonderful and you want to be happy for them, but it's things like that that take it too far.

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  11. YES! I love this. it's so true. people are so annoying with it, that's great, you're engaged but it's not the end of the world!

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  12. LOVE this. I felt this way before I got engaged so I was really conscious about not over sharing. I actually never posted a picture of my ring, although my cousin did end up sharing the picture I texted her when she publicly congratulated us on fbook. I also never shared every little step of wedding planning..."dress shopping today", "said yes to the dress!", "booked our honeymoon!"....ugh. Women annoy me.

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  13. Such an awesome post! I posted a few pictures of the proposal right after we got engaged and then that was it! Our 9 month engagement was focused on planning an awesome wedding together, yes, but preparing ourselves for marriage, too! We did marriage counseling sessions with the pastor that would marry us, we talked about finances and prepared to buy our first house-- marriage is the key here, not the ring!!!

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  14. So many things I could say but I'll leave it at this--AMEN

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  15. I'm definitely one that thinks good things are worth celebrating--and I think all of my friends who are married have really pulled off celebrating without making it annoying, or being show-offs. One of the moments that to this day I'm most embarrassed about was at my cousin's wedding...I had gotten my engagement ring maybe a couple weeks before, my grandma hadn't seen it yet, so at the wedding reception, right in front of my cousin, the bride, my grandma grabs my hand, "Oh, let me see your ring! Hey (my cousin), have you seen her ring yet?" Oh my goodness I felt so bad and I wanted to hide....my ring isn't "big" or flashy, and I don't think my cousin minded in the long run...but years later I still feel that was awkward...

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  16. Omg! I can't believe I haven't seen this picture yet. I agree with pretty much everything you said. I think when a big milestone like this happens, we're definitely entitled to share it with the world via social media and blogging and whatnot, but I've had some friends that post picture of their engagement ring from 20 different angles and post all of those pictures to instagram daily. Annoying! It's like, I'm happy for you, but come on...we get it.

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  17. yessss and I love that picture! I have been the lamest engaged person ever. though i'm excited it doesn't really consume me. we'll have been engaged for about 18 months by the time we actually get married. coworkers and acquaintances will ask me how the wedding planning is going and i'm like "uhh I haven't done any planning in months." whoops.
    -- jackie @ jade and oak

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  18. when i saw this photo the other day, i died, because it is my exact thoughts and i am happily in a relationship even. but EVERYONE around me is getting engaged and I am over hearing about it already.

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  19. I love this photo and this post! Photo aside, that girl probably had do endure several hours of squealing and forced enthusiasm before someone decided to commemorate the moment with a photo lol

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  20. Hahahaha oh my gosh! This picture is hilarious! That girl, she rules.

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  21. Getting engaged is exciting but you still have to have tact when it comes to those around you. I was super excited about my engagement and put the one photo of me with my red wine stained teeth grinning like a fool, showing my ring. I agree that flaunting that shit can be seriously annoying.
    | loved Helene's engagement story too.

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  22. Having been through it, the best way to get engaged is when you're living hundreds of miles away from friends and family. They weren't around to annoy, and I didn't see them for several weeks after we got engaged.

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  23. Totally agree. It's about the love and the life that you will be living. Not the size of the rock.

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