Thursday, 11 July 2013

I'm Going To "Officially" Unfriend You

The other day I was talking to a friend about a going away party she's having. She mentioned she invited her ex-best friend who, for arguments sake, we'll call Cathy. She sent her the invite on Facebook, yet despite Cathy clearly logging into Facebook multiple times since the invite was sent (as seen from her Facebook activity), Catchy did not respond.

In response, my friend said to me, "I think it's time I officially unfriend her."

Me: "I thought you already did. You guys haven't spoken in months. How do you make it 'official'?"

Friend: "I have to delete her off Facebook."

Wait, what?

I've been off Facebook for so long that I completely forgot that that was a concept. But it is a concept and it's something I've been guilty of doing.

Me and so-and-so get into a fight. I'm angry so I delete so-and-so off Facebook. Now it's official. We're no longer friends.

But guys (ladies. Whatever), I don't have Facebook anymore. In my (current) world, if I want to "unfriend" someone, I just stop talking to them. That's official enough for me.

This whole situation reminded me of one of the reasons I cut off Facebook to begin with. There was too much drama. Examples:
  • "Why did you write on so-and-so's wall and not mine?"
  • "Why haven't you liked or commented on any of my pictures?"
  • "I saw you changed your status but you still haven't text me back."
  • "You went to <insert place that person saw you were at due to a tag you got on Facebook> without me??"
  • "Who is <insert name of someone who wrote on your wall>?"

Seriously people, these are all actual questions I received while on Facebook. I kid you not, it was extremely annoying and I felt like my life was being controlled, in a sense. Not to mention that I became a stalker and had to look at everyone's photos and know exactly what they were doing with their life, thanks to Facebook.

The downside to removing myself from Facebook is that I lost contact with a lot of people. If I ever wanted to reconnect with any of those people, I'd need Facebook to do it (for the most part).

The upside is that I don't need those people in my life. Removing myself from Facebook showed me who's actually my friend and who just cares about getting a response back on their wall.

Now I wonder how that friend would go about unfriending me... Not that she'd ever do that to me.


  1. Omg this is so true! Facebook irritates me sometimes. I still have mine up for work, and it helps to keep in touch with family and friends who are far away. But it is nothing but drama. And some people air too much of their dirty laundry on facebook.

  2. Yeah I read somewhere that if you're off facebook and people still remember your birthday, you're good to go! I can't bring myself to delete mine but I know what you mean. It also creates relationship tension like "why aren't yall Facebook official" grr it's annoying. But I like to be in the know so I stick around.

  3. Isn't it crazy how Facebook controls us like that? Relationships aren't real until they're "Facebook Official" I mean really? Props to you for deleting it. I would like to, but I live far away from most of my family and we actually do use it to stay in contact lol.

    I had a sort of similar situation to your friend's, but with instagram. Me and two other girls used to hang out once in a while. Me and one of the girls decided to have lunch one day, without the other one (we thought she was in school, she had told us her schedule before). After the obligatory instagram of our food (haha), she left a snarky comment on why she wasn't invited. After we responded we thought she was busy, she blocked us on instagram, twitter, and facebook....OK. At least social media does bring out people's true feelings!

  4. My big and I got into a bit of a fight in college. Her response was to unfriend me on Facebook. Ooh, you really hurt me there. Then after she found out I was engaged, she all of a sudden wanted to be friends again (I think she wanted to be in the wedding. She wasn't even invited).

  5. I've been playing with the idea of deleting my FB, I already don't get on a lot, but I keep it for my blog page. If I could just have the blog page, I would have deleted my personal a long time ago!

  6. Hey Alexandra, I'm a new follower from the Wednesday linky hop. The rules have changed a whole lot nowadays with the digitization of everything. I have a lot of friends who "officially" unfriend someone on Facebook or unfollowing them on Twitter--which is weird. haha

    I'd love it if you can follow me back :)


  7. Alex, I totally found this to be an unexpectedly insightful case study on the nuances involved with Facebook! If that makes sense :)? But seriously; I enjoyed reading it because it makes me wonder when I'll be able to plug the plug as well. Sometimes I REALLY want to, but I get scared b/c I don't want to miss out on "news" about my Colombian acquaintances.

    But instead of unfriending someone (which, yeah, can hurt a bit), I simply hide them from my Newsfeed and make it so that they can't see my newer posts. Which is basically harder than deactivating my acct, hehe.

    I think WE're the ones who actually let FB control us, and you just keep making me want to leave it altogether.

    PS- I just spotted this: Perfect timing!!

  8. Hehe I just realized I can't deactivate my account b/c of my job. Yup, I get paid to, among other things, be on FB (not mine, fortunately, but rather manage a bunch pf pages). D A M N.

  9. I want to delete fb but its the best way I can keep up with friends in America while I'm at home. Wah wah. First world problems. xx

  10. It's kind if baffling how consumed we are with social media. The term "Facebook official" is thrown around left and right these days. I can't tell you how many times I've heard (and said myself. Guilty...) "is it Facebook official?" Or once I even heard "if it's not on FB it didn't happen." The latter was obviously in jest, but that sure seems to be the way we're headed. When did this happen?? So crazy.

  11. I just know I was in FB jail. I added too many friends. Isn't that what it is for? I was in jail for 3 days and couldn't add anyone. I have deleted many. Sometimes people get weird. I am a new follower from Lovely Blog Hop. Have a great weekend.


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